What to Wear to Holiday Parties

It's that time of year again! The time of cheese balls and crackers, ugly sweaters, and spending time with family whether we want to or not. It's common knowledge that the holidays are stressful time of year - with the constant need to get the perfect gift, or to be the perfect hostess, or to live through another political "discussion" with Uncle Fred. But, with the help of this humble blog post, you'll be able to remove one particular stress from your holidays: how to look totally awesome no matter the setting of your holiday party.

If you work in a corporate office (like I do), you probably have some annual holiday get-together; be it a few drinks with close work friends or a company-wide party, you'll still need to dress to impress. A word of caution: Never wear anything to a work party that would be inappropriate to wear to the job. That being said, "inappropriate" can be more forgiving in a party setting. That DOES NOT mean fishnets and a tube-top, ladies, NOR does it mean torn jeans and sneakers, gents. You are still in a work-like environment and should maintain a similar appearance as if you were actually at work.

You'll be working from your work wardrobe and adding splashes of color or sparkle, and these are a few of my favorite combos:

• Dark trousers (preferably straight- or wide-leg) with a holiday-colored sweater. I would steer clear of fire-engine red or Christmas-tree green and opt for a more subtle burgundy or even navy. Jazz it up with a chunky or multi-strand necklace and maybe a skinny belt on top of the sweater to accentuate your waist. (Technically, this look could translate nicely for men, minus the necklace and belt.)
•  Skirt with lace overlay and blouse and patterned tights. (Sorry, gents, no lace skirts for you.). The lace overlay adds texture and dimension to the skirt, making it more interesting to look at. And because the skirt is slightly spiffy, you don't want the blouse to compete with it. A solid blouse with some ruffles or other detail at the collar would be appropriate. Make sure the patterned tights are in the same general color family as the skirt or blouse. (Black skirt usually means black or gray tights.) I am all for a pair of purple tights at a holiday party, but keep it low-key for your co-workers.
• Dark jeans, sparkly top, and a blazer/suit jacket. Because of the jeans, I'm relegating this one for a more casual affair. Dark jeans make anyone's bottom half look better, so these are always a good choice for parties. The sparkly top will bring the eye to your face (where the attention should be!). And I cannot get enough of the mash-up of classy-casual tops and blazers! My secret is to roll the jacket cuffs just once - it's a totally adorable look. Guys, you could do this too, especially if you have a sparkly shirt that you just don't get to wear enough.

Best of luck navigating the slew of invitations! Oh, and one more piece of advice: pay attention to what you're drinking and what you're wearing. DO NOT take a glass of red wine if you're wearing your favorite *white* cashmere sweater. Just don't. It'll end badly for everyone.

Cheers!

I Can See Your Underwear & I Don't Want To!

I shouldn't have to post this. I shouldn't have to even consider how I'm going to put this together. I shouldn't have to tell young women HOW TO WEAR A BRA!

Back story: I went to a high school graduation party over the weekend and I stopped counting exposed bras when I hit 25. Yeah, I'm serious.

I recognize that there is only so much parents (especially moms) can do to control what their daughters wear. If you forbid her to wear something, she could just leave wearing something acceptable only to change clothes as soon as she gets to Ashley's house. I was appalled by how poorly these young ladies presented themselves. No one wants to see your bra. No one wants to see your bum cheeks because your shorts are too short. Seriously, parents, how are you letting your girls leave the house like that? How are you letting them sell themselves so short?

How can we expect the next generation of women CEOs, marketing executives and financial advisers to prosper, if we can even teach them to respect themselves? Yes, I'm making the suggestion that there is a direct correlation between how a young woman chooses to dress herself and her self-esteem.  I can't believe that the young women I saw at the party were all so down on themselves that they didn't care how they looked. They all seemed to be fairly confident, so showing off their bras just seemed so unnecessary.

So why do they do it? Do they really not know that strapless and racer back bras exist? Do they think it makes them look mature, because they can "handle" having other people see their bras? What are their moms saying when they see their girls walking around with their UNDERWEAR showing? It's hard to say.

Listen ladies, your underwear is like your make-up: it looks best when people can't tell you're using it. The more discrete your bra, the less distracted people will be from the undoubtedly wicked-cool outfit you put together. Please don't make me repeat myself. And please stop tempting me to snap your brazier, 'cause I'll do it.

Cheers!

Tailoring 101

This was originally going to be my "T" post during the ABC Blog Challenge, and it still applies now.

I try to make a habit of eating healthy and exercising regularly ("That's great," you say, "But what does that have to do with tailoring?"). Well, I'll tell you. I've lost a fair amount of weight since this time last year and naturally, I don't want to have to buy an entire new wardrobe. And I don't need to feel sad about not wearing the clothes that are now too big for me. I can save time and money by going to my local tailor.

If you don't know of a tailor in your area, check for businesses with "alterations" or "seamstress" in their names and you'll be heading in the right direction. I'll give you a few examples of some easy and relatively inexpensive alterations that will make your best-loved-but-slightly-baggy clothes like new.

For pants and skirts:

• Hemming - This is the easiest alteration for the tailor to make. When pants are too long, they simply measure the fabric to the desired length and cut off the rest. Remember to wear the shoes that you will most likely wear with the pants when you have them hemmed. Obviously, they will be too long when you're barefoot, so you want to have an accurate measurement in your heels.

• Cost for hemming will vary based on the fabric. Lined pants/skirts will cost more because they have to take up the lining too. Jeans may be less expensive because the double-stitching isn't always used on the hems.

• Shortening the waist - This alteration is for when your pants fit perfectly everywhere...except around your waist. The tailor will pin your waistband so that its slightly tighter than you want it, because the fabric will most likely stretch a bit. Then they will pin the pants all the way down your bum so that the new seam tapers correctly.

• This alteration will be more expensive for jeans because of the double stitching. And they'll have to take in the lining if your pants are lined.

For shirts and jackets:

• Shortening/lengthening jacket sleeves - I'm talking suit jackets and blazers here. Every jacket is made with a little extra fabric in the sleeves specifically for this purpose. The sleeve of your jacket should touch the "meaty" part of your hand just below your thumb. The tailor can let out the fabric to make the sleeve longer or remove fabric to make it shorter.
• Hemming - Yes, you can have shirts hemmed! Well, you shouldn't try to hem a button-up shirt because of the rest of its construction. But t-shirts and tanks are fair game. You don't even have to try on your shirts if you already know how much of a hem you need; you can measure the shirt at home before going to the tailor.
• Fixing tank top straps - So, I have a fairly short torso, and most fashion tanks hang half-way down my chest. I often need to have the tailor "tuck" my straps. They literally make a tuck where the strap meets the rest of the shirt to remove some of the excess fabric.

Knowing what can and can't be tailored has made buying clothes easier for me. If a pair of pants fits around the waist and legs, but only comes in long, I can still get them because I know they can be hemmed. If a tank top fits, but the arm holes are too big, I can still buy it because I know I can get them shortened. 

You can always (or almost) change your clothes to fit you better. Try to avoid turning the problem on its head, and blaming yourself if a piece of clothing doesn't fit you right off the rack. Most of it won't. You can take control of your clothes instead of fixating on the size number - buy an 8 just have it tailored down to a 6! Why? Because the ladies at the tailors will rave about how much weight you've lost and how amazing you look. Trust me, they will.

Cheers!

Not Wanted: Panty Lines

So, I was at a lovely wedding this weekend. One of my best friends married the guy of her dreams; I got to see old friends, and generally had a grand time. Except for one thing: I saw so many panty lines that it almost (almost) ruined the day for me. I feel the need to get this off my chest, because honestly, there's no reason for your undies to disrupt the otherwise perfect lines of your outfit.

No grown woman between the ages of 20 and 35, who can dress herself and therefore is choosing form-flattering dresses and skirts, should ever, EVER be guilty of showing panty lines. There are thousands of pairs of underwear that were made for the sole purpose of removing these wretched lines. If you're trying to look your best for a wedding or any other occasion, you must factor your underwear into the equation. I'm serious. It's sad (borderline pathetic) to see a woman wearing a great dress or great pants turn around and have these abnormal parentheses practically flashing neon around her bum.

Ladies, there's no excuse for this behavior. Get with the times; buy a thong. Sorry, let me back up and be a little less blunt. Thongs, v-strings, cheekies. These are all types of underwear that do not cover your entire bum, and are therefore NOT visible under your pants, dresses and skirts. This is particularly important when you are looking at fabrics that have a tendency to cling. Jersey and Cotton, I'm looking at you. If you wear "full-back" undies under a jersey or cotton dress, then everyone can see them. Everyone. From every angle. Do yourself a favor and at least consider purchasing "special occasion" underwear.

Now let's talk about why you may still be timid about wearing thongs. There has been one resounding negative connotation associated with thongs or other kinds of "sexy" underwear: Only "ladies of the night" ever wear them and so only women who are of ill repute would wear them today. Not true, if fact, quite laughable. I laugh at that association. There is no rational reason to feel self-conscious about wearing them. There is no stigma attached to a fantastic-looking bottom half, so why not embrace an entire branch of the clothing market dedicated to making your backside look awesome?

If you simply can't stand the idea of your bare bottom skin coming in contact with the fabric of your pants, then fear not. There are flattering undies for you too. Soma Intimates has a "Vanishing Edge" collection that claims to be invisible under all types of clothing. So, for the sake of those who must walk behind you on the street and who watch you "dance" at weddings, please consider updating your underclothing. You want people to look at your tush for reasons other than your underwear, don't you?

Cheers!

Forced to Follow an Antiquated Dress Code?

I’m back from my miniature hiatus. Please forgive my absence. It has actually been more difficult than I thought to return to computer work after having eye surgery. But now I’m back and better than ever.

So, let’s get to it.

I follow the blog (www.thatschurch.com) of a Pittsburgh journalist and love the candidness of her writing. A recent post (http://thatschurch.com/2011/05/23/corbett-0-lolz-2/ ) has been getting A LOT of attention, as you’ll see if you read all the comments (Mine’s in there too, see if you can spot it.) It describes an article that describes a memo that was sent to employees of a given state office; the full article is here: http://articles.philly.com/2011-05-21/news/29568815_1_dress-memos-egg

The memo implies that appropriate attire for women in the office is skirt suits, dresses, nylons, and NO pants. Gut reaction: “WHAT?! I can’t believe we’re still dealing with this in the 21st century!!”

Everyone OK, you still with me?

Now, let’s take a closer look at what is actually being said in the article. The article does not present the text of the memo, but it does call to light an idea that has so many people up in arms about the dress code. Pay particular attention to the third paragraph:

In a pair of memos in recent months, Welfare Secretary Gary Alexander has laid out do's
and don'ts for his executive-level staff and a select circle of other employees when it
comes to dressing for work. 

Some are obvious: No flip-flops, sweatpants, tattered jeans, halter tops, short skirts, or
skorts. (Do they make those for adult women?) And no beach attire. 

Others may defy explanation for the female 45-and-under crowd: No open-toed
shoes, please. And panty hose or tights are a must, which, taking the next logical step,
presumes leaving your dress slacks at home.

Because we don’t have the memo itself, we can only assume that the authors of the article are making the assumption that the dress code will be revised to forbid ladies from wearing “dress slacks.” We don't even know if this text was lifted directly from the memo, or if the words are strictly from the authors' heads.

I understand the need for close-toed shoes, though I may not always agree with it. I can even stretch my understanding to cover the need for wearing hosiery on a daily basis. BUT it is the implication of the authors that this office is forcing (or will soon force) women not to wear pants that I take issue with. Let me repeat: I take issue with the IMPLICATION. We can’t tell from the article that this is even the case.

The last paragraph could mean that women in that office are expected to wear full suits (matching pants and jacket) instead of dress pants with a blouse. Or, it could indeed mean that women are not allowed to wear pants. This is clearly where everyone is focusing. The sentence, "And panty hose or tights are a must, which, taking the next logical step, presumes leaving your dress slacks at home." is the problem. Is the office taking this “next logical step”? IS “leaving your dress slacks at home” the next logical step? We don’t know the answers to these questions if we take the article at face value.

To imply that a dress code could be reverting back to its 1950’s ancestor is a tall order, especially if you’re not backing it up with primary sources (i.e. a copy of the actual memo). Personally, it seems that the people making the decisions about the dress code are simply regurgitating every drummed-in, beat-down, I-did-it-at-my-last-job “rule” they’ve ever encountered about how people should dress in an office setting. They don’t seem to take into consideration that time and fashions have changed and in some cases these rules don’t apply any more. (coughnylonscough) I can almost guarantee that the people making these rules have no inkling of current style and probably have no idea that they look moderately ridiculous.

Back to my original point, there’s no proof in the article or the blog post that can undeniably tell us that the state office is trying to force women out of their pants. (HA! Funny sentence.) I think we can all agree that professional, working women will not take this sitting down, and many of them are not, if you read the post’s comments. I also think we need to read more closely to see the difference between fact and opinion, in this particular instance and in general. And maybe get a better proofreader at that publication, just sayin’.

Cheers!

S is for Skin Tones

Understanding how your skin tone is affected by different colors is just as important as finding that perfect pair of black pants. You'll often hear of skin tones referred to as seasons, "Are you a winter or a summer?" I have no idea how this happened. It's like asking why a zebra is black and white. It's one of the great mysteries of our time.

Now, to business!

A "winter" complexion has blue or pink undertones. Skin can be pale white, yellowish-olive, or dark. Winter people are generally brunettes, with deeply colored eyes. Winters should wear colors that are sharp, stark and clear. White, black, navy blue, red and really bright pink all go well with winter complexions. Avoid. Pastels.

A "summer" complexion, like winter complexions, has blue or pink undertones. Skin is pale and pink. Summers are often natural blondes or brunettes with pale eyes. Summers should choose pastels and soft neutrals like lavender, plum, rose-brown and soft blue.

An "autumn" complexion has golden undertones. Many redheads and brunettes with golden brown eyes fall into this category. Autumns should also select colors with golden undertones, like camel, beige, orange, gold and dark brown. Avoid colors blues, like navy.

A "spring" complexion also has golden undertones, but are usually creamy white or peach. Spring people generally have straw-colored or strawberry red hair, freckles, rosy cheeks, and blue or green eyes. Springs can wear warm colors like peach, golden yellow, and golden brown. Avoid dark colors.

Have fun pairing your skin with your clothing!

Cheers!

R is for Ruffles

Ruffles are yet another ingredient in our embellished clothing cake. And like other embellishments, ruffles should be used sparingly and with great tact. Wearing too many ruffles will just make you look silly, and no one wants that.

So let's look at a few ways that ruffles will help your outfit rather than hinder it.

Shirts. Shirts with ruffles around the collar will draw the eye upwards and toward your face. This is where we'd like most of the attention any way. If the ruffled shirt is patterned, you can pair it with a similar-colored v-neck sweater to highlight the ruffle while subduing the pattern.

Dresses and skirts. Ruffles on dresses or skirts will add physical volume to your outfit and will give the appearance of more volume on you. This is advantageous to women who have slighter figures and want something extra around their hips.

One last word of caution: Avoid wearing ruffled pieces together. The resulting outfit is not pretty.

Cheers!